Happenings

I wrote the following dialogue as some sort of brainstorming piece for a writing workshop I'm doing, which is part of the reason why I have little material for this. Not to get your hopes up, but I'm working on the novel for real this time. The working title is The Great Concert of Mr. Jimmy Jangles and it will be finished some time between now and the end of the universe. This has nothing to do with it. It is an Ozone Shack exclusive.

“What’s going on?”

“What do you mean what’s going on?”

“Well, there’s a broken sprinkler pipe shooting five feet into the air out front, the door is off the hinges, it smells like motor oil and… burnt hair, and I heard sirens while I was walking home.”

                “Oh, that, yeah, there were just some shenanigans going on here, everything’s under control.”

                “Well are you taking care of it? I mean, our water bill is going to be through the roof and we could get robbed. And it smells terrible.”

                “Yeah, I’m on it, I’m actually working on it right now.”

                “You’re just sitting on your laptop, how is that doing anything?”

                “I’m working on it.”

                “Wait a minute, is that a bird on top of the fridge?”

                “That… yes, that is a bird. Which I am also, um, actively working on getting rid of, right now. Right as we speak.”

                “Here, just open all the windows and I can chase it out.”

                “I wouldn’t do that. In fact, I really wouldn’t get anywhere near it. Just leave it alone, for now, I’m getting on it.”

                “I feel like there’s a lot you’re not telling me.”

                “Yeah, I can see how that would be. I can see how that would be.”

                “Well alright, if you need me I’ll be in the shower. I hope there’s some progress when I get out. Maybe shut off the water outside?”

                “Yeah, I wouldn’t go into the bathroom if I were you. In fact, no, don’t really go down the hallway at all, just have a beer or something and chill?”

                “Just chill? Is it even safe to open the fridge?”

                “Actually, that’s a good point, no, it’s not. You can have some of my goldfish, they’re on the table where the TV normally is.”

                “So then… where’s the TV?”

                “That’s another really good question, one that I’m also working on, as we speak. Now that you mention it, while you’re over there, check to see if there’s any sort of powder or residue, maybe even a thin organic film, on any surface over there.”

                “Will I find some of that film if I go over there?”

                “Most probably.”

                “Then… nevermind.”

                “Oh yeah, and if I were you, I wouldn’t even get a drink of water from the sink, it’s a little weird right now?

                “Is there anything that is safe to touch?”

                “Ok, the spot you’re standing, that’s safe, so just, sit down right there and don’t touch anything. Don’t really look at anything for too long either. Just sit there and I’ll take care of everything.”

                “From your computer?”

                “Yeah, I said I’m working on it. Just holler if you need anything.”

                “Right here?”

                “Yeah, right in that very spot.”

                “And you’ve got this under control.”

                “Entirely.”